During the week of graduation, my mom gave me a book. Actually, she gave me several books, but in particular she gave me A Line a Day book. In this book, I am meant to write a sentence or so every day for five years about what is happening in my life. At first, it was just a neat idea. It was sort of a continuation of my Suddenly a Senior blog, an easy way to remember what happens in my life. As time goes on though, it becomes a wee bit terrifying.
You see, the thing is, a lot can happen in five years. Five years ago, I was at DCI band camp in Illinois. I was about to start my senior year of high school. In that five years, I've graduated twice, performed in four different Bowl games, met so many people who've changed my life, lived in five different places, had surgery, been an intern, and so many other things, many of which I would have never expected five years ago. So that begs the question...what is going to happen in the next five years?
There is pretty much exactly one thing that I am reasonably sure will happen in the next five years. Three years from now, I will graduate from KU with my Masters in Art History. However, that's just the bare bones. What will it be like? What will I learn? Where will I go after that?
While the uncertainty of the next five years is a little frightening, that's not what really terrifies me. Everything is always uncertain. That's true whether you're five, twenty-five, or one hundred and five. No, what terrifies me about this next five years is that things are expected of me.
I know that my mom gave me this book in the hopes that it would be a record of important events in my life, things like graduations, but also maybe trips to Italy or meeting 'the one' or my first real job. And while I know it was given with no real expectations on me, specifically, it kind of hits on a sore point, namely, my lack of significant other at really any point in my life, but especially now as I reach maturity. There isn't a visit home that passes without some reference to how when it happens, I'll fall so fast I won't know what hits me, or what my "type" is, or how everyone is waiting for me. My sister said something to that effect just the other day, about how the whole family just wants me to find someone. She said it in the sense that they'll be happy for me and want me to have that, but still. When I look back at the past, it's hard to imagine that there is going to be someone for me in five years. Then I realize that in five years I'll be 27, and I'm terrified that there won't be someone for me. But then I don't know what's scarier...that there might not be someone, or the fact that in the realm of human possibility it is completely possible for me to meet someone and even get married and have a child in five years. I want to say no, this won't happen, but I don't really have any control over that (though I'm really not planning on any children in the next five years). I mean, I want to find 'the one'...who doesn't? But I'm not sure I'm ready, and with five years seeming both so long and so short I guess I'm just scared either way.
Five years...who knows what will happen. I just hope that I can face these next five years without fear of what the future may bring and without being encumbered by the expectations of others. If I can manage that, then in five years hopefully I'll be able to look back at the past five years as fondly as I look back at the five years I just experienced.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Summer Reading Pt. 2
I have been horrible at blogging this summer, and it's not that I'm super busy or don't have things to blog about...I guess I'm just a bit lazy, or something. Anyways, while I haven't been blogging, I have been reading! Here's what I've read since my last summer reading post.
8. The Deeds of the Disturber by Elizabeth Peters
9. The Golden One by Elizabeth Peters
I got five of these books at the library sale and I'm sorry, but they're some of my favorite summer books to read. I mean..Victorian era? Egypt? Archaeology? These books are so me.
10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
This was the book I was forgetting from the last entry! I fell in love with the Lord of the Rings trilogy when I first read it about nine years ago, though I didn't read the Hobbit until a little while after that. While I enjoy The Hobbit, it has no where near the place in my heart that Lord of the Rings does. Still, in honor of the movie coming out (in December 2012, how shall I wait?!?) I decided it was time for me to finally own and reread this book. It didn't disappoint at all and it was a nice enjoyable read, as usual.
11. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
For graduating with my BA in English a few months ago, and loving reading since I was very very young, I have huge glaring gaps in my classical literature knowledge. I had never read Wuthering Heights before, and didn't much want to...I still remembered struggled through Jane Eyre the first time, and I felt the Bronte sisters just weren't for me. Plus, I basically knew the story, and as someone who is very driven by characters, the idea of a whole novel with no real redeeming characters was a bit off-putting. Still, my Little Audrey was reading it this summer so I decided to read it with her. I'm glad that I did, though I can't say that it is anywhere near my favorites list.
12. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
13. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
14. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
15. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
16. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
17. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
18. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
So...the last Harry Potter movie is coming out in a week, if you'd been living under a rock and were somehow unaware of this fact! Harry Potter has pretty much been my childhood, adolescence, young adulthood...everything. I'm going to write a very long post about this next week, so I'm not going to talk about it here, but I felt that at the end, I had to go back to the beginning, and remember why I really love this series...the story. Reading these books now, as a 22-year-old college graduate is so different from reading them as the 10-year-old lying on the bare carpet in a new house, but the world that Rowling creates engrosses me just the same. Reading the first four was like greeting old friends...I knew many passages by heart, and even the creases and stains on the pages have stories to tell. My Prisoner of Azkaban is especially guilty of this; not only are the pages falling off the binding because I read it so many times, it has pages gnawed by an escaped hamster, aptly enough, named Scabbers (and no, I am so not making this up). It's been an emotional and exciting experience, and I'm sure that watching the film next week is going to be highly emotional for many fans, me not the least.
8. The Deeds of the Disturber by Elizabeth Peters
9. The Golden One by Elizabeth Peters
I got five of these books at the library sale and I'm sorry, but they're some of my favorite summer books to read. I mean..Victorian era? Egypt? Archaeology? These books are so me.
10. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
This was the book I was forgetting from the last entry! I fell in love with the Lord of the Rings trilogy when I first read it about nine years ago, though I didn't read the Hobbit until a little while after that. While I enjoy The Hobbit, it has no where near the place in my heart that Lord of the Rings does. Still, in honor of the movie coming out (in December 2012, how shall I wait?!?) I decided it was time for me to finally own and reread this book. It didn't disappoint at all and it was a nice enjoyable read, as usual.
11. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
For graduating with my BA in English a few months ago, and loving reading since I was very very young, I have huge glaring gaps in my classical literature knowledge. I had never read Wuthering Heights before, and didn't much want to...I still remembered struggled through Jane Eyre the first time, and I felt the Bronte sisters just weren't for me. Plus, I basically knew the story, and as someone who is very driven by characters, the idea of a whole novel with no real redeeming characters was a bit off-putting. Still, my Little Audrey was reading it this summer so I decided to read it with her. I'm glad that I did, though I can't say that it is anywhere near my favorites list.
12. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
13. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
14. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
15. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
16. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
17. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
18. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
So...the last Harry Potter movie is coming out in a week, if you'd been living under a rock and were somehow unaware of this fact! Harry Potter has pretty much been my childhood, adolescence, young adulthood...everything. I'm going to write a very long post about this next week, so I'm not going to talk about it here, but I felt that at the end, I had to go back to the beginning, and remember why I really love this series...the story. Reading these books now, as a 22-year-old college graduate is so different from reading them as the 10-year-old lying on the bare carpet in a new house, but the world that Rowling creates engrosses me just the same. Reading the first four was like greeting old friends...I knew many passages by heart, and even the creases and stains on the pages have stories to tell. My Prisoner of Azkaban is especially guilty of this; not only are the pages falling off the binding because I read it so many times, it has pages gnawed by an escaped hamster, aptly enough, named Scabbers (and no, I am so not making this up). It's been an emotional and exciting experience, and I'm sure that watching the film next week is going to be highly emotional for many fans, me not the least.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Great Harry Potter Re-Read
So, in preparation the final installment of the Harry Potter series in movie form, I am rereading all of the Harry Potter books. Basically, I'm trying to read eight chapters a day, but I have a few days built in just in case I get behind (which I currently am). Anyways, here's the schedule.
June 16th: Sorcerer’s Stone 1-8
June 17th: Sorcerer’s Stone 9-16
June 18th: Sorcerer’s Stone 17, Chamber of Secrets 1-7
June 19th: Chamber of Secrets 8-15
June 20th: Chamber of Secrets 16-18, Prisoner of Azkaban 1-5
June 21st: Prisoner of Azkaban 6-14
June 22nd: Prisoner of Azkaban 15-22, Goblet of Fire 1
June 23rd: Goblet of Fire 2-9
June 24th: Goblet of Fire 10-17
June 25th: Goblet of Fire 18-25
June 26th: Goblet of Fire 26-33
June 27th: Goblet of Fire 34-37, Order of the Phoenix 1-4
June 28th: Order of the Phoenix 5-12
June 29th: Order of the Phoenix 13-20
June 30th: Order of the Phoenix 21-28
July 1st: Order of the Phoenix 29-36
July 2nd: Order of the Phoenix 37-38, Half Blood Prince 1-6
July 3rd: Half Blood Prince 7-14
July 4th: Half Blood Prince 15-22
July 5th: Half Blood Prince 23-30
July 6th: Deathly Hallows 1-8
July 7th: Deathly Hallows 9-16
July 8th: Deathly Hallows 17-24
July 9th: Deathly Hallows 25-32
July 10th: Deathly Hallows 33-End
I'm looking forward to reading them all again! It's been great so far.
June 16th: Sorcerer’s Stone 1-8
June 17th: Sorcerer’s Stone 9-16
June 18th: Sorcerer’s Stone 17, Chamber of Secrets 1-7
June 19th: Chamber of Secrets 8-15
June 20th: Chamber of Secrets 16-18, Prisoner of Azkaban 1-5
June 21st: Prisoner of Azkaban 6-14
June 22nd: Prisoner of Azkaban 15-22, Goblet of Fire 1
June 23rd: Goblet of Fire 2-9
June 24th: Goblet of Fire 10-17
June 25th: Goblet of Fire 18-25
June 26th: Goblet of Fire 26-33
June 27th: Goblet of Fire 34-37, Order of the Phoenix 1-4
June 28th: Order of the Phoenix 5-12
June 29th: Order of the Phoenix 13-20
June 30th: Order of the Phoenix 21-28
July 1st: Order of the Phoenix 29-36
July 2nd: Order of the Phoenix 37-38, Half Blood Prince 1-6
July 3rd: Half Blood Prince 7-14
July 4th: Half Blood Prince 15-22
July 5th: Half Blood Prince 23-30
July 6th: Deathly Hallows 1-8
July 7th: Deathly Hallows 9-16
July 8th: Deathly Hallows 17-24
July 9th: Deathly Hallows 25-32
July 10th: Deathly Hallows 33-End
I'm looking forward to reading them all again! It's been great so far.
Monday, June 20, 2011
My 22nd Birthday
Today was my 22nd birthday. Taa-daa! I’m now officially old. ish. Oldish. I’ve decided that’s the technical term for that awkward age when you’re expected to be a responsible functioning adult but you still don’t really know anything.
Anyways, so, since I’m incredibly indecisive, as anyone who knows me can tell you, my mom decided to take the birthday decisions out of my hands and plan a surprise secret birthday field trip. As that may or may not imply, that means that I didn’t know anything that was going to happen on my birthday beforehand. Usually, I need to know everything, but it was fine. I really was pretty chill, for me.
The first stop on our voyage was the Overland Park Arboretum, to see the Monet gardens there. They were beautiful…but it was hot and humid! Which meant that the rest of the day was spent with that slightly uncomfortable feeling you get when you’ve been out in the sun in clothes that aren’t shorts and a t-shirt. Still, it was amazing how much the Monet gardens looked like his paintings, and I’m sure we’ll go back when the weather is a little more hospitable.
The next stop was at the Three Women and an Oven bakery, where we picked up my birthday cake! It was a gorgeous pink and sparkly pink champagne cake. We were very concerned with keeping it from melting, but luckily we had a cooler, so we carefully packaged it all up and headed off to the next destination.
Next, we headed over to Brookside to go to Reading Reptile. Reading Reptile is a children’s bookstore, full of decoration and atmosphere. We had fun looking at the books and remembering old favorites, and I got an adorable book there called Pigasso and Mootisse (obviously, going off of Picasso and Matisse). It’s really cute and clever.
After the bookstore, we went to the Plaza to have lunch at Jack Stack BBQ, only the best bbq restaurant ever! It was delicious, as always, and nice to be in the good a/c for a while.
The Plaza is right next to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, and though the museum itself was closed, we went and walked around the sculpture garden and the grounds so that I could turn 22 at a museum like I did last year, at the Kimbell. Basically, that means being there at 3:07, thankfully an easy time, unlike my sister’s one-something in the morning.
After the Nelson, we went to some shops on the Plaza, and then we went to Baron BMW so that I could look at the Minis! I was just expecting to be able to sit in one, but I actually got to drive one! I love the inside, though the clutch was so finicky in the manual that I drove that I might just have to pay more for the automatic, because it was majorly stressing me out. Still, so much fun and a good educational experience.
That was the last stop on our voyage, so we headed home, relaxed for a bit, and then ate my delicious cake. It was a good birthday, and only could have been better if I had been able to see all of my friends in Texas. Still, I got to read their amazing and loving comments on my Facebook wall, and that will have to be good enough for now.
Anyways, so, since I’m incredibly indecisive, as anyone who knows me can tell you, my mom decided to take the birthday decisions out of my hands and plan a surprise secret birthday field trip. As that may or may not imply, that means that I didn’t know anything that was going to happen on my birthday beforehand. Usually, I need to know everything, but it was fine. I really was pretty chill, for me.
The first stop on our voyage was the Overland Park Arboretum, to see the Monet gardens there. They were beautiful…but it was hot and humid! Which meant that the rest of the day was spent with that slightly uncomfortable feeling you get when you’ve been out in the sun in clothes that aren’t shorts and a t-shirt. Still, it was amazing how much the Monet gardens looked like his paintings, and I’m sure we’ll go back when the weather is a little more hospitable.
The next stop was at the Three Women and an Oven bakery, where we picked up my birthday cake! It was a gorgeous pink and sparkly pink champagne cake. We were very concerned with keeping it from melting, but luckily we had a cooler, so we carefully packaged it all up and headed off to the next destination.
Next, we headed over to Brookside to go to Reading Reptile. Reading Reptile is a children’s bookstore, full of decoration and atmosphere. We had fun looking at the books and remembering old favorites, and I got an adorable book there called Pigasso and Mootisse (obviously, going off of Picasso and Matisse). It’s really cute and clever.
After the bookstore, we went to the Plaza to have lunch at Jack Stack BBQ, only the best bbq restaurant ever! It was delicious, as always, and nice to be in the good a/c for a while.
The Plaza is right next to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, and though the museum itself was closed, we went and walked around the sculpture garden and the grounds so that I could turn 22 at a museum like I did last year, at the Kimbell. Basically, that means being there at 3:07, thankfully an easy time, unlike my sister’s one-something in the morning.
After the Nelson, we went to some shops on the Plaza, and then we went to Baron BMW so that I could look at the Minis! I was just expecting to be able to sit in one, but I actually got to drive one! I love the inside, though the clutch was so finicky in the manual that I drove that I might just have to pay more for the automatic, because it was majorly stressing me out. Still, so much fun and a good educational experience.
That was the last stop on our voyage, so we headed home, relaxed for a bit, and then ate my delicious cake. It was a good birthday, and only could have been better if I had been able to see all of my friends in Texas. Still, I got to read their amazing and loving comments on my Facebook wall, and that will have to be good enough for now.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Friendship and Sacrifice
I just returned home from seeing The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring - Extended Edition in theaters. It was 3 hours and 50 minutes of beautiful cinematography, gorgeous music, amazing acting, and one of the most emotionally stirring stories I've ever read or seen. I've been in love with J.R.R. Tolkien's masterpiece since I first cracked open The Fellowship of the Rings when I was in the eighth grade. Back then, I wasn't really into philosophy and analyzing why I loved the series so much... I just knew that it was a great story that really captured me and stuck with me.
Now, while I know I haven't even scratched the surface of all the reasons I love Lord of the Rings, I know one of the main reasons. It's the idea of friendship, and therefore sacrifice.
Friendship has always been an important feature in my life. As a young teenager, I treasured my friendships because they were so few and rare. Now, I'm blessed with many many friends in many different places, and my friends are all the more precious to me because we've been through so much. I would give anything for any of my friends, be there in any circumstance, do anything within my power for them. While part of being a friend is doing these things without expecting anything in return, I don't think a true, lasting, bonding friendship can be formed without this ideal on both sides. So, to me, friendship and sacrifice are irreparably tied together. Whether they're big sacrifices or small, true friendship involves being willing and able to sacrifice anything needed for your friends, because you love them.
In my view, there is no greater story of love and friendship than the Lord of the Rings. There are so many characters who constantly exhibit their love for each other...I mean, they start out as a fellowship, that's kind of the point. However, I'm going to focus on the greatest group of friends: Sam and Frodo, Merry and Pippin, and all of them together. I could go on forever about this, but in the interests of time and being concise, I'm going to focus on instances from The Fellowship of the Ring, since I just saw it tonight and therefore it's the freshest in my mind.
First, you have to look at how they start. While Frodo has a sense of responsibility to see the quest through (however misguided that responsibility may be), Sam, Merry, and Pippin have no reason to leave the home they've always known and face unknown and untold dangers. However, they do, because Frodo is going, and they're going to support him in anyway they know know. That takes courage, and sacrifice, and love. Move on to instances like on Amon Sul/Weathertop, or the Mines of Moria, when those three are willing to sacrifice their immediate safety to protect Frodo. Now, you could argue that they're protecting the Ring, which I'm sure is true. However, I believe that especially at this early point in the narrative, they're much more concerned protecting their friend than some still abstract terror from Mordor.
They all have opportunities to give up. They all have chances to turn back, stay in some safe haven for however long it remains safe. But no. They stay with Frodo as long as they are physically able. Their willingness to sacrifice for friendship is so evident at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring. As the Urak Hai are attacking, and Frodo is attempting to flee to the boats, he runs into Merry and Pippin. Once they realize that he is leaving, rather than arguing, being selfish and trying to keep their friend with them, or panicking, they take action. They draw the Urak Hai towards them, deflecting them from Frodo and putting themselves in the path of the most terrifying, immediate threat they have faced to that point, for the most part completely alone. But they sacrifice their well-being to protect their friend.
Samwise Gamgee...I don't even know where to start with Sam. He loves and loves and loves and protects throughout the series...and he's the one who is the furthest out of his comfort zone. He loves the Shire, but he loves Frodo more, and he constantly sacrifices for their friendship. At no time in the first part is this more clear than when Frodo is trying to leave Sam behind, trying to protect him. But Sam will have none of that. Despite the fact that he cannot swim and is in fact deathly afraid of water, he walks right in after Frodo, willing to drown, though he has to know that Frodo will come back for him. This is love. This is devotion. This is sacrifice. And this...this is friendship, the type of friendship that I hope that I have and that I offer.
Now, while I know I haven't even scratched the surface of all the reasons I love Lord of the Rings, I know one of the main reasons. It's the idea of friendship, and therefore sacrifice.
Friendship has always been an important feature in my life. As a young teenager, I treasured my friendships because they were so few and rare. Now, I'm blessed with many many friends in many different places, and my friends are all the more precious to me because we've been through so much. I would give anything for any of my friends, be there in any circumstance, do anything within my power for them. While part of being a friend is doing these things without expecting anything in return, I don't think a true, lasting, bonding friendship can be formed without this ideal on both sides. So, to me, friendship and sacrifice are irreparably tied together. Whether they're big sacrifices or small, true friendship involves being willing and able to sacrifice anything needed for your friends, because you love them.
In my view, there is no greater story of love and friendship than the Lord of the Rings. There are so many characters who constantly exhibit their love for each other...I mean, they start out as a fellowship, that's kind of the point. However, I'm going to focus on the greatest group of friends: Sam and Frodo, Merry and Pippin, and all of them together. I could go on forever about this, but in the interests of time and being concise, I'm going to focus on instances from The Fellowship of the Ring, since I just saw it tonight and therefore it's the freshest in my mind.
First, you have to look at how they start. While Frodo has a sense of responsibility to see the quest through (however misguided that responsibility may be), Sam, Merry, and Pippin have no reason to leave the home they've always known and face unknown and untold dangers. However, they do, because Frodo is going, and they're going to support him in anyway they know know. That takes courage, and sacrifice, and love. Move on to instances like on Amon Sul/Weathertop, or the Mines of Moria, when those three are willing to sacrifice their immediate safety to protect Frodo. Now, you could argue that they're protecting the Ring, which I'm sure is true. However, I believe that especially at this early point in the narrative, they're much more concerned protecting their friend than some still abstract terror from Mordor.
They all have opportunities to give up. They all have chances to turn back, stay in some safe haven for however long it remains safe. But no. They stay with Frodo as long as they are physically able. Their willingness to sacrifice for friendship is so evident at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring. As the Urak Hai are attacking, and Frodo is attempting to flee to the boats, he runs into Merry and Pippin. Once they realize that he is leaving, rather than arguing, being selfish and trying to keep their friend with them, or panicking, they take action. They draw the Urak Hai towards them, deflecting them from Frodo and putting themselves in the path of the most terrifying, immediate threat they have faced to that point, for the most part completely alone. But they sacrifice their well-being to protect their friend.
Samwise Gamgee...I don't even know where to start with Sam. He loves and loves and loves and protects throughout the series...and he's the one who is the furthest out of his comfort zone. He loves the Shire, but he loves Frodo more, and he constantly sacrifices for their friendship. At no time in the first part is this more clear than when Frodo is trying to leave Sam behind, trying to protect him. But Sam will have none of that. Despite the fact that he cannot swim and is in fact deathly afraid of water, he walks right in after Frodo, willing to drown, though he has to know that Frodo will come back for him. This is love. This is devotion. This is sacrifice. And this...this is friendship, the type of friendship that I hope that I have and that I offer.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Summer Reading pt. 1
This isn't really an in-depth, thought-provoking blog post, but hey, we all need something a little light once in a while, right? Anyways, one of my favorite things about summer is, obviously, SUMMER READING! I love to read, and while I still read a lot during the school year, when I'm not reading for school I usually stick to old favorites and easy reads so I can get through them quickly and it's okay if I can't finish because of time constraints. So, summer means it's time for me to go crazy with my reading list, and this year will be especially so, since it'll be the first summer of my 100 Greatest Novels reading challenge (side note, if you're interested in that, check out my other blog, ashleyandauthors.blogspot.com ) So, I thought it'd be nice just to have an ongoing list of what I've read this summer, maybe with some comments or whatnot. If you have any recommendations for reading they're always appreciated!
Summer Reading List 2011
1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Okay, so, these three books were so worth the hype. I'm not sure how I feel about the movie coming out, but I RACED through these books. I could not put down my Kindle (it was a grad present from my grandparents and these were the first books I read on it). So amazing. I love anything with good character development or strong characters in general, and that was definitely the case with this trilogy. Also, I have a soft spot for dystopian settings...something about how people react when there's little ot no hope really interests me. So, if you're looking for a summer book, READ THESE!
4. World without End by Ken Follett
This book is the sequel to Pillars of the Earth, which I loved, but I was hesitant to read it because it's set years after Pillars and doesn't use the same characters. Still, I decided to try it and I'm glad I did. It was great and engrossing, and as usual the history aspects of Follett's writing are really interesting, as well as the religious and political aspects. His books are a bit emotionally trying to read, though, because nothing EVER works out for the 'good' characters until the very very end. Still, a good read.
5. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Ugh, this book. It was torture. It was the first book on my list of 100 Novels and let's just say I'm not a fan of Faulkner's writing style, which is a bit worrying since I think he has two more novels on the list. Oye vey.
6. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
I cannot believe it took me eight years from first hearing about this book to finally read it. It was engrossing and I read it in about a day (admittedly, it is written for children and rather short, but still). Once again, character development. Dystopia. So good. And I love a book that makes you think without beating you over the head with obscure concepts.
7. The Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters
Okay, so...the Amelia Peabody series is my guilty pleasure. They're mystery novels and set in Victorian times, with Egyptologists, so I can hardly help myself. I bought a few for fifty cents at the library sale, so I'm rereading them. They're fluff...but hey, it's summer, so it's allowed.
I feel like I'm missing a book or two, but I'm going to let it be since I'll be updating this list throughout the summer. So, until then, happy reading!
Summer Reading List 2011
1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
2. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
3. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Okay, so, these three books were so worth the hype. I'm not sure how I feel about the movie coming out, but I RACED through these books. I could not put down my Kindle (it was a grad present from my grandparents and these were the first books I read on it). So amazing. I love anything with good character development or strong characters in general, and that was definitely the case with this trilogy. Also, I have a soft spot for dystopian settings...something about how people react when there's little ot no hope really interests me. So, if you're looking for a summer book, READ THESE!
4. World without End by Ken Follett
This book is the sequel to Pillars of the Earth, which I loved, but I was hesitant to read it because it's set years after Pillars and doesn't use the same characters. Still, I decided to try it and I'm glad I did. It was great and engrossing, and as usual the history aspects of Follett's writing are really interesting, as well as the religious and political aspects. His books are a bit emotionally trying to read, though, because nothing EVER works out for the 'good' characters until the very very end. Still, a good read.
5. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
Ugh, this book. It was torture. It was the first book on my list of 100 Novels and let's just say I'm not a fan of Faulkner's writing style, which is a bit worrying since I think he has two more novels on the list. Oye vey.
6. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
I cannot believe it took me eight years from first hearing about this book to finally read it. It was engrossing and I read it in about a day (admittedly, it is written for children and rather short, but still). Once again, character development. Dystopia. So good. And I love a book that makes you think without beating you over the head with obscure concepts.
7. The Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters
Okay, so...the Amelia Peabody series is my guilty pleasure. They're mystery novels and set in Victorian times, with Egyptologists, so I can hardly help myself. I bought a few for fifty cents at the library sale, so I'm rereading them. They're fluff...but hey, it's summer, so it's allowed.
I feel like I'm missing a book or two, but I'm going to let it be since I'll be updating this list throughout the summer. So, until then, happy reading!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Fear
When we're little, we fear many things: ghosts, wolves, the dark. These things plague us, shaping our reactions and dreams and even interactions with the world. However, these fears are mostly irrational (whatever the Doctor may say about the Vashta Nerada) and as we grow older and learn about the world, these fears fade away. That doesn't mean we're free from fear, though. It just means that we have new fears, fears grounded in experience and reality, and that makes them all the more terrifying.
I think one of the most commons fears we develop as adults is the fear of not knowing what to do. This fear takes at least two forms. There is the fear of not knowing what to do as it relates to yourself, and as it relates to others. One, the fear of not knowing to do in your own life, corresponds with failure, hopelessness, uncertainty, and even fear of the unknown. The other, the fear of not knowing what to do with others, brings helplessness and the pain of love.
I have sat and stared at this blogging window for a good fifteen minutes now, and it's already past 1:30 in the morning. I keep going back and forth...do I leave these statements here, just some abstract statements about fear that sound like I'm trying to be profound when I'm really not, or do I do what I came here to do and examine the personal stuff, the painful stuff? I guess I just answered my own question...so writing as catharsis it is.
I don't think the fear of not knowing what to do personally ever goes away. Which is horrible and depressing to think about, but there it is. That's me...making you think about the horrible and depressing things you don't want to think about. You think, oh, once I'm accepted to this school it'll be okay, once I get this job I'll be set, once I've achieved this life goal, met this person, crossed this off the list, then, then I'll be free from this cloying fear that I'm just as good as a random directionless mote of dust caught in the draft from a ceiling fan. But this fear, oh, this fear is devastating, because it has an unprecedented power to mutate. Because once you've chosen the school, it becomes, "Is this the right school for me?" "Should I even be going to school?" "Is this even what I want to do with my life?" It all comes back to this awful feeling that we need to know what we're doing for the rest of our lives NOW. If we don't have a plan that stretches thirty years into the future, with options A, B, and C and a contingency plan for each, we're so far behind we might as well give up, except you can't give up so instead you scramble to catch up and try to ignore the mostly imagined judgments of everyone else who is most likely just as lost and confused as you are. It's all in how adept they are at covering it up.
I have a lot of these fears. And I know I'm never going to get rid of them. Even if it were possible to dispose of these fears, which I don't believe, I never could because of my personality. But that doesn't mean I have to be paralyzed by them. These fears, horrible and terrifying as they may seem, can be turned to strength. When these fears change to determination, and a challenge to face, they are some of the greatest motivators I know.
Personal fears, though difficult and sometimes deterring, are exactly that...personal. They really only rely on one person, since they are generated inside of you and you have the power to overcome them. What about the fear of not knowing what to do when it comes to others, though? What are you supposed to do when you don't know how to help someone, when you are completely powerless and insufficient, and someone is hurting and lost and confused? If anyone knows the answer to this, I would appreciate the help because I'm honestly lost.
I think one of the most commons fears we develop as adults is the fear of not knowing what to do. This fear takes at least two forms. There is the fear of not knowing what to do as it relates to yourself, and as it relates to others. One, the fear of not knowing to do in your own life, corresponds with failure, hopelessness, uncertainty, and even fear of the unknown. The other, the fear of not knowing what to do with others, brings helplessness and the pain of love.
I have sat and stared at this blogging window for a good fifteen minutes now, and it's already past 1:30 in the morning. I keep going back and forth...do I leave these statements here, just some abstract statements about fear that sound like I'm trying to be profound when I'm really not, or do I do what I came here to do and examine the personal stuff, the painful stuff? I guess I just answered my own question...so writing as catharsis it is.
I don't think the fear of not knowing what to do personally ever goes away. Which is horrible and depressing to think about, but there it is. That's me...making you think about the horrible and depressing things you don't want to think about. You think, oh, once I'm accepted to this school it'll be okay, once I get this job I'll be set, once I've achieved this life goal, met this person, crossed this off the list, then, then I'll be free from this cloying fear that I'm just as good as a random directionless mote of dust caught in the draft from a ceiling fan. But this fear, oh, this fear is devastating, because it has an unprecedented power to mutate. Because once you've chosen the school, it becomes, "Is this the right school for me?" "Should I even be going to school?" "Is this even what I want to do with my life?" It all comes back to this awful feeling that we need to know what we're doing for the rest of our lives NOW. If we don't have a plan that stretches thirty years into the future, with options A, B, and C and a contingency plan for each, we're so far behind we might as well give up, except you can't give up so instead you scramble to catch up and try to ignore the mostly imagined judgments of everyone else who is most likely just as lost and confused as you are. It's all in how adept they are at covering it up.
I have a lot of these fears. And I know I'm never going to get rid of them. Even if it were possible to dispose of these fears, which I don't believe, I never could because of my personality. But that doesn't mean I have to be paralyzed by them. These fears, horrible and terrifying as they may seem, can be turned to strength. When these fears change to determination, and a challenge to face, they are some of the greatest motivators I know.
Personal fears, though difficult and sometimes deterring, are exactly that...personal. They really only rely on one person, since they are generated inside of you and you have the power to overcome them. What about the fear of not knowing what to do when it comes to others, though? What are you supposed to do when you don't know how to help someone, when you are completely powerless and insufficient, and someone is hurting and lost and confused? If anyone knows the answer to this, I would appreciate the help because I'm honestly lost.
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