So, I decided in 2012 that I wouldn't be scared of trying new things. Today, I faced my first challenge...a new type of food! I'd seen dishes of spaghetti squash on Pinterest and elsewhere, and I was intrigued. It seemed relatively easy to make, sounded tasty, and it's good for you! I was sold.
Here is what a spaghetti squash looks like:
I was very excited to find one for a good price while grocery shopping today. So, I came home and looked up recipes. The one I chose was an Emeril recipe for Herbed Spaghetti Squash. I choose it because it was fairly basic and I knew I'd be able to really taste the squash itself, which I was curious about. So, I turn the oven on and get started. Very quickly, I ran into some trouble. You see, the first thing you're meant to do is cut the squash in half. Emeril makes it seem like no big deal, but he apparently wasn't counting on me. You see, I had an issue with this step. Mostly, I just have an issue with knives in general after cutting my finger a few years ago. However, as a result of that issue I don't have a set of culinary knives. I have a grand total of five knives: a bread knife, a serrated knife, a fish knife, and two paring knives. So, you can see where I ran into trouble...
Still, I eventually cut it in half. Victory!
The next step was to steam it in the oven for forty-five minutes. Piece of cake. I might have burnt my finger with the steam as I took it out, but hey, it's the price of culinary innovation. I turned the squash over and put it in for another 15 minutes.
As the squash continued to cook, I quickly sauteed some shrimp in olive oil and set them aside. Finally, the squash was ready! I took it out of the oven and let it cool for a few minutes. I was very impatient to see how it turned out! I scooped out the seeds and then ran a fork over the inside to pull the 'spaghetti' out. I was amazed with the results.
Once I'd removed all of the insides, I placed them in a skillet with a little butter, some parsley, and salt and pepper. I tossed it all together and then put a serving in a bowl with some shrimp on top. Voila!
I wasn't sure what to expect in terms of taste. I'm not sure if it needed to steam longer (my squash was a bit bigger than the recipe called for), but it still had a crunchy texture. It was a bit like eating carrots, honestly. Which is fine, because I like carrots! There is a ton of squash leftover so I think I'll try it some different ways in the coming days. However, I would definitely make it again, though only on a weekend because it does take a while to cook.
So, there you have it! First new thing of 2012! I can't wait to see what else I will try this year.
2011 really was an extraordinary year. Not only was it an extraordinary year, but it was also a remarkably balanced year, a year of bookends, of each high with its accompanying low. Still, as I look back, it's those high points that stick in my mind, that I know I'll remember for years. Those moments are the ones that matter in this bigger picture of my life that I am just now beginning to see develop.
Just look at the very first day of this year. January 1, 2011. I was in Los Angeles, California. I woke up at 4 in the morning, marched in the Rose Bowl Parade, performed my last halftime performance in the Rose Bowl, and cheered TCU on in their victory over Wisconsin. Once in a lifetime, amazing experience!
And then, in contrast, the heartbreaking loss to Baylor at the beginning of this season. It was my first game as an alum and much more emotional than I anticipated. As my mom tells the story, the game hadn't even started yet when the cameras panned over the TCU marching band, I gasped out "Band!" and started crying. It was hard to learn how to be a long-distance fan, but I watched every game this year and was even able to attend the Homecoming game against New Mexico. It was also TCU's last year in the Mountain West, and I'm very excited to be a part of the Big 12 next year and continue to cheer for my Frogs, in good times and bad!
Technically, I suppose the most monumental event of 2011 would have to be my graduation from TCU in May. Four years of hard work paid off, and my family was there to watch as I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa, became an Honors Laureate at a ceremony in front of Frog Fountain, and then graduated with Honors in Art History, Magna Cum Laude, with a B.A. in English. Just a few short days later it was time for another big change, as I packed up my apartment and moved back home, leaving behind my TCU family.
Still, the friendships I made were too strong to be damaged by the distance between Texas and Kansas. I had barely been home three weeks when I saw my G-Little, Meridith, in Fort Scott. Later my Big, Julie, came to visit me in July and I had a great time showing her around Kansas City. I was also able to visit Fort Worth twice, once just because and once for Homecoming. Julie and I took advantage of technology via Skype to have frequent catch-up dates, and when I didn't have anything else, I always had the scrapbook she made me as a graduation present to remind me of how much I was loved and of all of those whom I love...I even took it to the basement with me while taking shelter from a tornado!
2011 also marked a lot of development in my drive, passion, and development towards my future in art history. In February, I found out that I was a finalist for a Fulbright grant to Italy, something I was obviously ecstatic about. Unfortunately, in June I was informed that I did not receive the grant. I was devastated. However, I was one of 81 applications for my specific grant and one of 10 finalists, of which 5 received the grant. That is still an accomplishment to be proud of, and not going to Italy opened to door for me to attend the University of Kansas. While it has been challenging, I love the History of Art department at KU. I've learned things I didn't even know I needed to learn and been exposed to more people and life experiences than I could have ever planned. I also taught my first class; I was responsible for three discussion sections from a larger lecture class with around twenty students in each. If that wasn't a learning experience, I don't know what is!
There are so many other events which marked my year. I recently went shopping for bridesmaid dresses with one of my dearest friends. Our family overcame many obstacles and I hope we are stronger for it. I read a lot, saw a lot of good movies, and listened to the Lord of the Rings soundtracks more times than is probably healthy for one individual. I discovered many things about myself and hopefully grew as a person, and also found areas that I will continue to work on in 2012. I want to focus on my faith, including finding a church in Lawrence, travel more, enjoy life, and be happier with myself.
As one of my absolute favorite quotes says, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain In 2012, I will endeavor to live this quote, to follow my heart, and to find joy in every moment.
Happy New Year's, everyone, and to many more years as exciting as 2011!
Photos from the year:
TCU Colorguard at the Rose Bowl!
The best Spring Break trip with three of the best friends a girl could have.
At my last KKY/TBS District Convention - banquet with my family!
At 3rd Degree - the best family ever! I don't know what I'd do without my Pink! family.
After my Honors Thesis presentation with my Uncle Doug
Pink! family love forever <3
M&Ms in Frog Fountain!
The long awaited zoo date with my Little Kayla :)
Kiss the Frog - it's time for graduation!
Newly graduated with my parents
Great friends at my graduation party
My G-Little Meridith and I at Fort Scott!
My mom and I before we saw Josh Groban in concert!
My Big and I in Kansas
My sister and I before the Harry Potter midnight premiere
Kelsey and I were reunited! And made butterbeer cupcakes
First trip to Fort Worth - Heart Start Walk with Beta Delta!
Homecoming - Go Frogs!
Yay for being reunited with friends :)
The big family Thanksgiving
Annual Starbucks and Christmas lights outing with the family
So, I was driving between Olathe and Lawrence this evening and I had my iPod on shuffle because I'm really tired of all the music I've been listening to, so I was trying to mix it up. Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood came on and I almost skipped it, but at the last second decided not to. So I'm just driving down the road singing along, and all of a sudden I just start crying. Apparently that song was exactly what I needed to hear/pray at that moment, and so I'm sharing it in case someone else needs it like I did :)
Well, I’m back again!
For a while I honestly wasn’t sure if I would ever blog again. I had an experience with the bad side of
internet accessibility which considerably shook me up, and which still lends a
bit of hesitancy to my actions. However,
I have really missed blogging, and I think that if it’s done responsibly (which
I hope I accomplish) there’s no harm in it.
So, this is me, getting back on the horse after a bad fall.
The main catalyst for this blog post is a song. People who know me know that I really don’t
listen to the radio and I’m rarely up on popular music. I’m much more likely to be cruising down the
road listening to soundtracks than to be rocking out to the Top 20. However, I found myself watching part of the
Country Music Awards this past Wednesday.
I heard a lot of new, good music, but one song in particular caught my
attention, and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. The song, If I Die Young, by The Band Perry,
is very popular, and for good reason. It’s
a beautiful, haunting song.
Obviously, it’s a lovely song. One line in particular, though, has been
reverberating around my head and really making me think.
“I’ve had just enough time.”
In a song about dying young, this statement really stands
out. It makes me wonder…if I were to die
tomorrow, would I feel like I’ve had enough time? Am I living my life in such a way that I am
accomplishing my dreams, that I’m making a difference, that I’m doing more than
just living?
Recently, I’ve probably been especially guilty of getting
through things just to get through them.
It’s sort of a defensive response to grad school; if I can just survive
this seminar discussion, complete this assignment, get through this week of
teaching, I can move on. But really,
this isn’t a satisfying way to live.
So, now, I’m going to change that. When I die, God willing many many years from
now, I want to be able to say that I’ve had just enough time. I accomplished the things I wanted to
accomplish, I made a difference in some way, but I didn’t live too long. I’m living with purpose and joy starting…now.
Me: I just ate cottage cheese out of a mug and it was probably the most exciting thing I did all day.
Mom: That is pretty sad! Too bad you don't still have a blog to put that event on.
Me: Hahaha. To be fair, it was really good cottage cheese in a cute mug.
Mom: Well there you go...
Isn't my Fall Break the most exciting you've ever heard of? Add in a lot of reading about Degas and the French press and newspapers during the Counterrevolution and you can see why Fall Break as a grad student definitely isn't as cool as Fall Break as a normal college kid!
So, a few weeks ago, I was able to finally go back to somewhere I've been longing to be...my second home, Fort Worth and TCU! I just happened to have a free weekend the same time that all of my friends there were free because there was an away game, so I hopped on a plane and headed back to Cowtown :)
My lovely Little Kayla picked me up at the airport (after I got up at 5:00am to get to the airport, this will be important later) and I just about lost it then...I missed her so much! Then we went to see Julie at her place of employment and had a tour of Brainhealth. We headed back to Fort Worth and ate at the new In-N-Out Burger and then went back to her apartment until band. I got to see Lauren then and catch up...and also watch the O.C., which Kayla and Lauren promised I would soon be addicted to and which indeed proved to be the case!
Anyways, it was soon time to leave for band practice. I have honestly been really missing band, so I was glad to have the opportunity to go and I also got to see so many friends. I received so many hugs in the space of ten minutes...I have rarely felt so loved. I was so glad to see so many people: my museum buddy Michelle, Olivia, Natalie, Molly, Cristi, and the Amandas and so many others, and, it goes without saying, the rest of my family! Being with Kayla, Audrey, Callie and Meridith again made me feel complete again, really bring home that I had felt like something was missing. I love them all so much and seeing them again...ah, there are no words. Anyways, so practice continued on and I got to help out with the rain jackets and see their show so far. Then, at the end, I was able to sing with the chapter which definitely brought tears to my eyes. I know that college can't go on forever...but I wish that I had more time to be in band and TBS with all of these people I love so much.
After practice, we met up with Julie for dinner at Pappasito's for some good old Tex-Mex like they definitely don't have in Lawrence! We had a great dinner and a lot of fun together. Then Julie and I went back to Kayla and Lauren's to get ready to go the Fray concert at TCU that night. The concert was fun but not super exciting, though we got to hang out with Meridith and Callie some more. Afterwards, we went out with some other people and had a very exciting night! Long story short, though, we didn't go to bed until after 3:30, and I had been up since 5 that morning. Yikes!
The next morning we were up bright and early too for the Heart Start Walk, which TBS has participated in since my sophomore year. It was fun and afterwards Kayla and Traci and Joellen and I had a lovely breakfast at the Vickery Blvd Cafe. Then Kayla I went back to her apartment and basically laid on her floor for hours until Meridith and Callie came over and inspired us to do something. We went to this really neat and delicious pizza place called Pie-5 to eat and watch the TCU game. After halftime, Amy and Allison came to meet us and it was more than I had hoped for to see them as well! After the game was over, we went to this place called Sweet Sammies and had ice cream sandwiches...mine was purple, of course, to celebrate our victory! Then Kayla and Callie and Meridith and I explored the new Charming Charlie's. Callie had to leave but Kayla and Meridith and I watched one of our Pink! family movies, She's the Man. Then we dropped Meridith off on campus and went to the Black-Out party at the drumline house. However, it was super crowded and I was too tired to deal with crowds and so we left, got Whataburger, and watched some more O.C.
The next morning, we got up and Callie and Kayla drove me to the airport. Being September 11th, I was worried about security, but it was fine in Dallas. It was a bit surreal to be sitting there watching the ceremonies in New York while sitting in an airport...especially after my plane was delayed because of a bomb threat at KCI. So, it took quite awhile to get home, and I was stressing about the week to come. Still, I wouldn't trade my time in Fort Worth for anything!
So, there is an extremely detailed account of my time in Fort Worth. I'm glad I didn't have to wait until Homecoming to see everyone again. I really needed to renewal of being around my friends and people who loved me and I did not realize how much I missed being hugged! Now I'm eagerly counting the days until I can go back for Homecoming!
So, given that I've been in grad school for a month, I should probably write a blog post about grad school, right? I mean, it's this huge, important part of my life now, something that's going to define my next three years and all the years to come...but I can sum it up in one sentence.
Grad school is hard.
Shocking revelation, I know. I'm sure you're staring at your computer screen in exasperation, thinking, "Well duh it's hard, Ashley, it is graduate school after all." And I would completely agree with you. I knew grad school was going to be hard. I knew that it would be challenging and difficult and stressful. I suppose what's surprising me is just how it's hard.
Obviously, you have the subject material. All in all, that's not too much harder than undergrad. Sure, it's more concentrated, more in depth, but if you're taking good undergrad classes, the actual difficulty in terms of art history doesn't ratchet up too much. No, what gets you is the way your classes are structured. You see, what they don't tell you when preparing for grad school is that in addition to learning your actual subject, you'll need to learn how to be a grad student too. You'll be placed in classes with Ph.D. students, with people who have actual work experience in museums or elsewhere in the field, with older, more experienced Masters students. You'll have to keep up with the years of extra knowledge and experience they have, and try your hardest to keep your head above water. In addition to that, you'll be reading about four times more each week than you EVER had to read for ALL of your undergrad classes for just one class, and you have to be able to engage with and remember the material in a way that's just insane.
It's just...there's a whole extra level of things you have to learn that aren't in classes. And you're never really taught them...you just have to learn as you go along. It's overwhelming and stressful and scary, because it's so much that you're not really sure how you'll ever get to the level of those other students. And also, you're cut off from your support network and completely starting over so you don't even have friends to rely on...it's just all new, all hard, and all stressful.
And, now that I've complained about how hard it is, grad school is fun too! It's great to be a part of tight knit department, and I love being able to focus just on art history and learn a lot. Teaching is hard, but I'm really glad I have the opportunity to do so. I'm learning a lot and I have some really great and entertaining students. It's just a lot of difference in just about every aspect of my life and it's a lot to get used to. Still, I'm hopeful that I'll keep learning and soon I'll be much more comfortable with my role as a graduate student.
