The First Month of Grad School

So, given that I've been in grad school for a month, I should probably write a blog post about grad school, right? I mean, it's this huge, important part of my life now, something that's going to define my next three years and all the years to come...but I can sum it up in one sentence.

Grad school is hard.

Shocking revelation, I know. I'm sure you're staring at your computer screen in exasperation, thinking, "Well duh it's hard, Ashley, it is graduate school after all." And I would completely agree with you. I knew grad school was going to be hard. I knew that it would be challenging and difficult and stressful. I suppose what's surprising me is just how it's hard. Obviously, you have the subject material. All in all, that's not too much harder than undergrad. Sure, it's more concentrated, more in depth, but if you're taking good undergrad classes, the actual difficulty in terms of art history doesn't ratchet up too much. No, what gets you is the way your classes are structured. You see, what they don't tell you when preparing for grad school is that in addition to learning your actual subject, you'll need to learn how to be a grad student too. You'll be placed in classes with Ph.D. students, with people who have actual work experience in museums or elsewhere in the field, with older, more experienced Masters students. You'll have to keep up with the years of extra knowledge and experience they have, and try your hardest to keep your head above water. In addition to that, you'll be reading about four times more each week than you EVER had to read for ALL of your undergrad classes for just one class, and you have to be able to engage with and remember the material in a way that's just insane.

It's just...there's a whole extra level of things you have to learn that aren't in classes. And you're never really taught them...you just have to learn as you go along. It's overwhelming and stressful and scary, because it's so much that you're not really sure how you'll ever get to the level of those other students. And also, you're cut off from your support network and completely starting over so you don't even have friends to rely on...it's just all new, all hard, and all stressful.

And, now that I've complained about how hard it is, grad school is fun too! It's great to be a part of tight knit department, and I love being able to focus just on art history and learn a lot. Teaching is hard, but I'm really glad I have the opportunity to do so. I'm learning a lot and I have some really great and entertaining students. It's just a lot of difference in just about every aspect of my life and it's a lot to get used to. Still, I'm hopeful that I'll keep learning and soon I'll be much more comfortable with my role as a graduate student.