Tuesday, September 11, 2012

That's that

Today, I found myself struggling to complete my African Islamic Art and Architecture reading with tears streaming down my face.  Obviously, I was sad for some reason, but it was more frustrating than anything.  What the heck is wrong with me?  I have no real right to be upset.  I make enough money to live on my own (for the most part), I am able to get a good education, I see my family regularly, I have friends even if I don't see them much, and I'm studying material that I love, even if I don't always like it.  So seriously, what gives?

I think a problem with our culture is that we always want more.  No matter what we achieve, there is another step.  You graduate from college?  Great, now go get a job or go to graduate school.  You get an A on a paper?  Great, now go present it at a conference.  You're successful in school?  Good for you, now go excel socially.  You have everything you could possibly need in life?  No you don't, you need more experiences to add to what you already have.  By the time we reach adulthood this has become so ingrained into our very nature that no matter what we do, we're never satisfied.

Anyways, I don't really know where this blog post was going and I should probably go back to my homework.  Actually, I should probably find some handy quote or verse that talks about waiting or being satisfied in the now or some such thing.  But that's part of why I feel this way.  I'm tired of pretending to be perfect all the time, and happy, and responsible.  So now I'm just going to say that yes, I'm sad, and upset, and I want more out of life than I have no matter how selfish that is.  I guess that's that.

No comments:

Post a Comment